~Sigh
2004-06-20 - 9:04 p.m.

AnnaBubbles reminded me through her last entry that I haven't told you the news about my job. Let's backtrack awhile, though.

My online time has been rather patchy recently. Mostly that's due to patchy internet connection. The ADSL modem was silly, so Tim reconfigured it and it worked again for awhile, but in the end we needed a new one. Aaanyway, it's been up and working again, but I haven't had much time for online things. When I have, it seems like it's taken (is still taking) a long time to catching up with all the diaries and things.

It's been a bit of a heavy fortnight. Reports were due in last week...well, the week before, now that it's Sunday. They have this thing at APS where they get the kids to write these "self-evaluations" on the reports. Basically, it's just writing what they've learned and it's not exceptionally insightful. I had the reports done well on time - they were easy because the teacher comments section won't come til the end of the year, we just had to list their CSF level. But getting all of those self-evaluations done by Wednesday didn't happen, so it is lucky that the principal was very relaxed about it.

And, of course, Mum came home, which is lovely but means I've been cooking and washing up for two instead of one, or instead of having Mum carrying a lot of the burden as she used to.

During all of this, we've been trying to deal with Problem Boy. He had a big tantrum and threw things around and was subsequently suspended. Since he's been back, we've tried to have a slow re-entry into the classroom, but he keeps blowing all of his chances in the classroom and getting sent back to his temporary classroom, or to time out, or home. He wants to be with our class, so we're hoping he begins to learn that we mean business and he has to stick to the behaviour agreement he helped to devise, but, in the meantime, it's extremely hard. I sincerely hope that his Monday morning doctor's appointment reaps a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD and some trial medication, because I don't have a great confidence in his ability to pull himself out of the whole on his own. And it would just be so much less stressful. Peggy and the principal are great: they're really supportive and have been very invovled with his behaviour, but it doesn't mean that I still don't feel rather at a loss often.

Then, my auntie Joy arrived on Wednesday. The nice thing about this is that she's started preparing tea before I get home from school and cleaning up after dinner, which I feel very guilty about but find a big relief. I know it's lazy, but I just find I'm so tired that it's lovely not to be the only one doing that anymore. The unfortunate thing about this is that my home time is no longer as relaxing. Joy's fairly easy to be around and doesn't expect us not to go about our normal doings, but I can't help feeling less relaxed, less comfortable about flopping on the couch and watching any rubbish and being weary. I feel more self-conscious about cleaning and cooking and behaviour and, much as I enjoy having her over, it is one more thing that adds to all the "things" going on at the moment.

Two Saturdays in a row I've had to go out for birthdays, which have been nice, but meant that I was being on my best social behaviour again and felt weary all the next and only remaining relax-and-preparation day.

All this last week, I've been struggling with a slight cold, which has meant I haven't quite slept properly or had enough energy. Oh, and on Thursday my job application was due for the next six months. Even though I knew they wanted to re-hire me (why wouldn't they, in the middle of dealing with a very Problem Boy and with nobody wanting to take over Performing Arts if I left?), legally, they had to advertise and my application and interview would have to be good enough for them to justify hiring me over anyone else who applied.

Friday was the worst day. My car wouldn't work properly and I didn't get to school until about 10 minutes before the bell went. I had been on my way to get their with about 40 minutes to spare and to get a head start on most of my portfolio organisation. All I had to do was get the rest of students' work stuck into their portfolios, and half of it had already been done, and send them home so the parents could look at them in preparation for parent-teacher interviews, which begin tomorrow. But that had me arriving at school flustered, feeling rather drawn and weary, especially with my cold. However, I was on track, with my class helping, until lunchtime, when various things went wrong. In the end, I didn't get any but three of the portfolios finished! I was soo stressed and grumpy. A dozen other small but stressful things had gone wrong that day, too, such as mucking up the orders for fish 'n' chip day, and my order being cold by the time I got to eat it, or the tv/video not being available and having to borrow from another unit, and wheel falling off its trolly... So, I sent home those three portfolios and continued trying to get the rest done, so at least they'd be ready on Monday. That's when I discovered all of the reports, which was the last thing I'd been stapling in, had been mixed up and I'd accidentally sent home some wrong report sheets with those three portfolios! I could have died! I just felt so grumpy and embarassed.

I still feel rather sick in my stomach thinking about trying to sort out that mess, getting back the correct portfolio sheets - one child is going away and won't be back for five weeks, so I'll have to wait til then to get the incorrect sheets back! I'm just hoping that nobody will notice and that, when they return their portofolios, I'll be able to fix those few up without the kids or parents being any wiser. I'm not looking forward to sorting it out if it's wrong, however.

Well, there was one bit of good news. Nobody else applied (or nobody good enough - I think the former, though) for our position, so Lien and I don't have to have job interviews next week and get to keep our jobs! Yayy! I just wish I could feel joyous. I think it's just more of relief.

One more week of school. One more week. I have parent-teacher interviews Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after school. Bleh. If it weren't for that and Problem Boy, oh, and for the portofolio mix-up (so much more annoying because I'd made a point of sorting them out the previous night, and they somehow got mixed-up at school), I'd just sit back and enjoy this week, with no more reports to write, self-evaluations or portfolio work for the kids to do and no job interview to worry about. One more week and then it's school holidays. I can't wait, I can't wait.