~You Ain't So Hot, Missy!
2005-01-16 - 12:08 a.m.

You know, every now and then I visit the journal of an old internet friend of mine...let's call her...Nancy. I don't think she has this diary address and I don't think she's shown the slightest bit of interest in visiting any of my bloggy things when I gave them to her ages ago, anyway, but it's always better to be safe.

Anyway, Nancy was a good friend. She helped me out a lot with my initial web page coding and graphic design, she was funny and engaged in my silliness. She was someone I admired greatly.

After a while, she felt the need to disconnect herself from the internet for while (disconnect herself, not the actual internet). That was fine and understandable, although seriously disappointing. Quite a while later, I discovered (I think through a mutual friend) that she was back slightly online again, so I emailed her (probably including links to my blog, if not my journal). I think I got a pleasant response, but was told she was still only sporadically online. After that, when I saw she'd updated her web sites or journal, I'd drop her a line to say hello or start a conversation and got no response, even though I knew from her journal that she was still keeping in touch with one or two other net friends and reading their journals.

Anyway, this all happened some time ago now and I've not bothered my head about making any effort with her anymore. It still hurts a little, since I really wouldn't have thought she would be so dismissive and snobby. Aaanyway, when I'm very bored (as I am now, because LiveJournal is down), I visit Nancy's journal to see if she's written anything interesting. Almost invariably, she's written something political or soapboxy or ranty or a mixture of the lot. She's a very smart person with generally sound values who reads up a lot before she takes a political stance. It's her journal and, if she can't rant and lecture there, there's something seriously wrong. Of course she can.

It just doesn't mean that it can't annoy me. Especially considering how tired and grumpy I am right now! It annoys me that she's got this holier-than-thou self-proclaimed arrogance. I'm not saying that she really treats people as less than her, I'm sure she doesn't, but she does promote herself as someone who gets irritated with stupid people. Not describe: promote.

So I wandered over to her journal today and, once again, Nancy was full of rants and political stances and advice and urgings. I'm sure most of this was all perfectly sensible and logical and sound, but it annoys me that this is all she seems to be anymore. She's not the helpful, generous, silly - or even witty - person that I knew. Even if I never communicate with her, I'd get pleasure out of reading her journal if it in any way reflected the softer person, but it doesn't. Not every single entry is annoying, some are still somewhat sarcastically or cynically witty, I don't want to be unfair here (in case anyone has figured out who I'm talking about, which possibly isn't that hard). Probably if I read her journal more often I'd even find a few entries that weren't cynical at all!

I just find it annoying that someone who has shown herself to be quite obviously not as morally benign as she believes herself is always prosing at me whenever I visit in an attempt to retain some of the pleasant times I spent online with her. BAH, I say, BAH! I can't even explain my annoyance properly. I can't seem to accurately describe why I get so irritated with her journal, apart from a general sense of bitterness.

*whimpers tiredly & achily*