~All Tired After Writing This Entry!
2004-05-26 - 7:05 p.m.

I have no willpower I have no willpower I have no willpower...oh wait, that's beginning to sound like a mantra, so maybe I should be thinking "I have willpower! I have willpower! I have willpower!"...except that I don't! Emma & Maree are having a girls' nightish thing (it's a bit of an informal housewarming for Emma, because she's temporarily moved in with Maree). There is going to be chocolate and ice cream and music and tarot cards and so forth, so I bought a big packed of chocolate biscuits, a block of hazlenut chocolate on sale and a big bag of salt 'n' vinegar crisps.

Most of the crisps are gone and there is no chocolate left.

I am not going to open the chocolate biscuits, but I suspect if I'd bought a smaller packet I would've! I have no willpower! It's bad enough that I'm having an unhealthy night on Friday - and will probably get take away after an after-school PD that finishes at 7pm tomorrow night - but now I'm having unhealthy food all week and will still have the bad food night on Friday!

Bleh. Mum's in hospital, did I mention that? She's been having tests for a few months because our family doctor (not to be confused with my doctor, who is at the same clinic but I tend to go to more often than the family one) found something odd on one of the regular tests he gets Mum to have. Anyway, it turned out to be some growth, probably cancer, in the liver. Pretty small, but they only waited about a week and a half to operate and she's been in hospital since Monday. Everything seems fine and she should, hopefully, only have about a week in hospital and take about six weeks to recover. When she had her bowel cancer operation a number of years ago, it took her about three months, but the liver apparently isn't such an important organ.

So, on Monday I had a meeting and then a doctor's appointment. On Tuesday I had another staff meeting and then my massage appointment (urgh, I do feel better for them, but goodness, he's got a knack for finding all of the painful parts and pressing them! That's what I get for having proper deep tissue therapy massage at my physio for long-term effect on my neck and back, instead of relaxation at some health place, I suppose). Today I stayed back at school for about two and a half hours working and tomorrow I've got that PD from 4-7pm. Friday, of course, is the bad food night at Emma & Maree's. Mum knows all this and is fine. Dianne and Tim visited her on Monday and Tuesday, Ross & Kathryn are supposed to be coming tonight. I've spoken to her on the phone both days so far, and her siblings from Western Australia have also called her. But Dianne keeps trying to get me to go and see her.

Of course I want to visit Mum in hospital! If she'd been at on of the western hospitals it would've been fine. But she's in a city hospital and by the time I get home and then went out again, it'd be almost the end of visiting hours anyway! And that's even if I knew where to park and Mum felt comfortable with me walking around at night on my own!

If it were very serious, I'd be there every day. I'd go after work, I'd even skip meetings and things, but it's not. It could have been, but they got it early enough and everything seems fine. If it wasn't fine, I'd still have time to cancel things and go to see her. Mum doesn't mind, I just wish Dianne would stop trying to make me feel guilty.

To be honest, I'm quite enjoying this time on my own. I thought I'd really miss Mum and feel lonely, but I suppose speaking to her on the phone is fine, and I've been home so late that I haven't had time to get bored or lonely. I bought The Return of the King on DVD yesterday, it's first day out. I haven't watched it yet.

Anyway, so I was a little annoyed at Dianne and walked down to my room, only to find a parcel awaiting me from Laura! Unexpected (even though I knew Laura had sent it, I had forgotten it was coming) parcels are always the best! There are some lovely things in it, but it was opened by quarantine (which happened to Amber's, too) and I'm afraid the CDs have been scratched! I'll have to check them.

Now, the question is whether or not I should abuse my school photocopy allowance on the Mulan music book Laura lent me! I probably should just go to Officeworks and pay for my own illegal copying, but school is so convenient, and if I use my performing arts allocation (yay, I love being a co-ordinator!) instead of my classroom one, I won't be eating into my rather scanty worksheet capacity.