~Back to secondary college
2004-12-11 - 7:10 p.m.

Well, you might be wondering what I'm doing home from carols rehearsal. You're probably not, though, because you probably didn't even realise that I had rehearsal this afternoon...and you probably haven't really noticed what the time is for me anyway. But well, the point is that I am home early because my neck was sore and giving me a migraine again, despite the two nurofen "migraine" tablets that I took. I think I'll just stick to panadine from now on, as it's the only thing that ever seems to have any effect.

It was just too hot and too yucky and my head was too hurty today. I'll have to do lots of practice this week, because we were in the middle of learning a new arrangement for Sleigh Ride, and I don't learn new things that easily - almost all of the other pieces are arrangements or variations of arrangements that I've sung previously, so I'm not too stressed about missing half a rehearsal.

Today I saw a few of my old VSS friends, who I didn't think were in it this year. I was particularly pleased to see Donna, who was one of my friendship group while I was there. I made friends with Leonie before the others, but we three plus Haley and Vanessa were altos and chummed up, and Haley, Donna, Vanessa and I always hung out, and even caught up a few times once we'd finished carols. I always liked Vanessa best of the three, and she moved to Second Soprano with me in our second year when we only had girls in the choir.

Anyway, I was really happy to see Donna and happily went over during the break to say hi, but now I think I don't like her so much. She's a fairly friendly soul, not mean-spirited, and good-humoured. But she's one of those fashionable types and today she slightly rubbed me up the wrong way. I remember that I always felt a little daggier than the other three, although Vanessa was pretty cool in person as well as appearance and manner, so I always felt more comfortable with her. The thing is, she's about three years younger than me, and she comes up and gives me a happy hug, then says "Oh, you look cute." in that slightly patronising "Oh, aren't you an adorable little child" kind of way. And...I don't know, I just felt that desire once more to impress, as if who I was and what I do isn't quite good enough.

It's just so high school, and I was over high school before we even left high school.

So yes, next week I'll say hi and ask how she's going, but I'll stick with my new friends, the one I made last year and the two or so I've made this year, they're much nicer. I especially (well, after not knowing them for long), like the two Jens. There's "Jenny" and "Jen". Jen is only in year 9 and I met her last year, but she's cool and fun and laughs when I make silly comments. Jenny's a few years older than me but is pretty low-key, which I like. She also doesn't mind me making silly comments hehe. I'm not going to worry about Donna, because she probably doesn't worry about me, nor realise she has that effect, so I'll remain with the people who make me feel good.

Post script: I started writing this at around 4:30pm, so the opening made sense then.