~Hide behind your smile
2005-10-24 - 10:07 p.m.

I think sometimes there's a sense in which it's not good to keep too much of your true self hidden. I'm thinking particularly of my work; teaching is such a personality-based profession and it's hard to impress people sometimes if they don't feel that you open up and give a little. Nobody likes to feel on the outside and sometimes people can become allies if you open up to them a little. Who doesn't like to feel that they share a joke or are trusted? But when is showing some of yourself showing too much of yourself? Sometimes it feels to me that every little quirk you reveal can equally be seen as a flaw. It's easy to revel in being yourself and then to look back and cringe, wondering if everyone else saw and understood who you were or if they were looking at you in a whole different way. How do you know that the person who provides you with support when you need to pour out your troubles isn't getting an impression of someone weak and self-absorbed?

Some people think that if you don't reveal everything than you're manipulative or cold. I say to those people: try being a sensitive, unconfident introvert for a day and see how long you last putting yourself on the line. Every comment someone makes about you can hurt. It's usually better to keep up the persona and hold back the hidden you for those special few.