~When Did It Spiral Out of Control?
2007-01-18 - 9:50 p.m.

I put some photos onto my half-arsed myspace account (let's face it, I only got it because I wanted to be part of the VSS myspace site and I'm only giving it any time because I love having new things to play with). I went back and viewed them just now and was struck by what a dag Emma is. She's still wearing the same, old, baggy raincoat that she's had since high school. And it's fine - it's servicable and not ragged or anything - but it's far from fashionable. And it occurred to me how little I ever really think about what my friends wear. That is, I do notice what they wear and often think that they look nice, or isn't it a pity that something's too baggy for them or whatever. But I remember this trip when Emma was wearing her raincoat a lot and I was never once thinking that I was embarassed to be seen with her, I was just thinking about how much fun we were having.

Yet I looked at all those photos and worried about whether I really wanted people to see me in ordinary, less-than-flattering clothes. And I remembered how I often worry when I'm out what people are thinking of how I look, and whether people are really proud to be walking down the road with me.

I don't say I worry about those things constantly, or even the majority of the time, but I think about them often, regularly.

And I suppose I really shouldn't.